Autumn Rose – Chapter One

There is some kind of emptiness to these nights; the sound of the rain pouring down on these empty streets, trees are preparing for the cold nights ahead, leaving all of their beauty to the mercy of the white season. Autumn, the only season I get excited for its arrival. Since the years of early childhood, the universe taught me that when these chilly nights come, good days come with it even if it will mean feeling nothing at all. 

My friends insisted on me to go play soccer together this afternoon, even though the grey sky was obviously not going to turn blue until it makes everything and everyone cry with it. But I have to go, I don’t want anyone especially my friends to know about my condition. They will keep saying some stupid stuff about how I should grow up and how men aren’t supposed to be weak, as if crying was created for women only. After an hour of playing, I was actually having some fun until it started to rain and all I want was to be home alone with my laptop. At the same time, I will never miss the chance to walk under the rain so I say goodbye to my friends and walk home. I don’t trust people who say how much they love it when it rains, to only hold umbrellas once it does… could they ever find any feeling more peaceful than the rain drops on their faces? Or are they afraid of that moment of mindfulness? I wouldn’t be surprised… that feeling forces you to face your innermost feelings, and very few dare to see themselves in that mirror.

“Logaaan, how was the game?” Alex shouted from the living room as I am entering the house. Alex is my childhood friend, he was the only one who sat with me when every other kids were playing. He isn’t like me, most of the time he throws parties at our house which I don’t join unless my food supply ended and I had to leave my cave to go to the kitchen. I never really understood how he can be friends with everyone no matter what they are like.
“Good, as you can see… it rained” I say, rushing to my room, my lovely room.

I sigh as I open the window to see the rain refusing to stop. All I could do tonight is what I actually do every night, check my phone then watch Game of Thrones, open my phone again then watch some stupid stuff on Youtube for two hours then go to sleep. But even though I enjoy my time alone the most, I can’t lie that it would be nice to have someone to share with me those moments; a girl or a guy, never really mattered. I reach to get my phone from my pocket and a notification of 10 missed calls from my mom flashed at my face. She has been very worried about me since I was diagnosed with Seasonal Depression, I keep telling her it is nothing and I have actually lived through it my whole 20 years of life but moms are moms, they never stop worrying. I send her a message telling her that I’m okay and I’m going to study today – obviously not-
Then I start my night routine of stalking people, it isn’t stalking really, I just enjoy seeing random people’s Facebook pages; many of them prefer to share some quotes or talk about some political things I can’t ever understand, while others seem like they never go home. I wonder as I scroll through their pages, are they really happy? Do they actually like each other? Or are they putting a mask on for the sake of showing their friends how amazing of a life they have. I can only remember as an example this girl that is one of Alex’s many friends. I have seen her page many times, I admit she talks about subjects other girls usually don’t bring up, but many times you could see some posts of Starbucks selfies or drunken pics while dancing at a bar. I decide to open her Facebook again today as I type her name Evelyn Blevins in the search bar. I scroll a little bit until sleep gets hold of me. Suddenly, I feel something bright shining on my face. The sun has finally decided to save me from my nightmare. I’m really glad I woke up this early, the sunrise for me is like a mother giving birth; the moment she sees her child she forgets all the pain she had. While I was sitting on my bed to see if anyone other than my mom decided to talk to me, I get a notification that Evelyn accepted my friend request. EVELYN ACCEPTED MY FRIEND REQUEST!! I didn’t even send her any! I open my laptop to see if my phone is messing with me or something and as soon as I open my Facebook, a message came; it is from Evelyn.

I close my laptop and throw it to the end of the bed but the lovely innovation of a cell phone I have, decided to remind me there’s an unread message. I fell as my heart is  beating faster, curious to know what she sent. I open Messenger to see the message from the main page without really opening it.

“Hey, you are Logan, Alex’s roommate right? I remember I saw you once or two in your kitchen… anyways I’m glad you decided to get out of your bubble, byyeee”

 I read the message and turn off my phone. I can’t believe how stupid I was to fall asleep with the phone in my hand, yesterday I sent a friend request by accident who knows maybe tomorrow I will finally get in contact with some aliens.